8.6.15--Paris related "dad" jokes thus far:

Oh, I totally know why the French are supposedly thin: they don't eat off smaller plates, exactly, but they DO eat of smaller tables--a table for two can barely fit two water glasses much less two dinner plates! 

On the prevalence of aerosolized facial spray and the scarcity of air conditioning: The French are all like, "well, we don't have air conditioning, but we do have this great can of water we keep in the fridge!"